Building New Habits: What It Really Takes

I’m approaching day 45 of one of the hardest habits I’ve ever worked to build: a daily workout routine incorporating strength and cardio training.

I’ve always been active, but this time is different. I’m strength training in ways I haven’t before, with a coach I check in with almost daily. I’ve committed to at least another seven weeks of this daily practice, hoping to build a lasting approach to my health, strength, and longevity.

I hesitated to write about this experience. It’s too early to call it an official habit.  Part of me wondered whether announcing this new habit would lead to me giving up. What if I wrote about my success and then stopped?

But I’m writing now because something is beginning to shift. The routine still takes effort, yet it’s starting to feel more like a part of my life.  I’m actually noticing my brain is starting to expect and even look forward to the workouts.  I notice I’m having to work a little less to drag myself to the gym in the mornings.

That has me thinking about what it actually takes to build a new habit—and why wanting to change is only the beginning.  So here is what I’ve learned.

1 The beginning takes so much effort

Think about the things you already do without much thought: brushing your teeth, making coffee, reaching for your phone, and checking email. Our repeated tasks become cues for familiar actions.

A new habit hasn’t developed those connections yet. We have to remember, make time, and decide to follow through. That takes a lot of conscious effort (aka it’s hard).

But with repetition, a behavior can become more automatic. That doesn’t mean a challenging workout will eventually feel effortless. But getting started may require less deliberation.

For me, that’s the hope: that exercise becomes something I have a dependable place for in my life, with less daily negotiation about whether I’ll do it.

2 I took the commitment seriously before I started

Before reaching out to a coach, I spent time considering whether I was ready for this change.

I weighed the benefits against the demands. I imagined how it would fit into my already busy days. I had to acknowledge that it would take time, planning, and effort.  And I had to know that some days I wouldn’t feel like doing it.

That reflection mattered. It helped me move from “I should probably do this” to a commitment I had thought through.

If you’re considering a new habit, ask yourself: What am I willing to make room for? What will need to change to support it?

3 I connected it to something I really wanted

Let’s be honest.  The prospect of daily workouts wasn’t what excited me most. It was the possibility of feeling stronger and more comfortable in my body than I have in years.

I’ve always been active, but menopause has brought changes that have sometimes left me frustrated. I wanted to see what a more intentional approach to strength training could make possible.

I had a vision of how I would feel about my physical health and shape.  That gave the effort a purpose beyond completing another workout.

For you, the reason for a new habit might be having more energy, feeling calmer, or being able to do something you love for years to come. Whatever the habit, it helps to know why it matters to you personally.

4 I made room for it in my actual life

Once I committed to the plan, I began organizing around it.

I asked my family for support. I talked with friends mostly to cement the commitment. I built space into my days and, for the most part, gave workouts a place in my mornings.

That last piece has been especially helpful. A morning workout has fewer opportunities to get crowded out by everything else.  The early mornings haven’t always been easy but getting things done early have been a game changer for me.

Research on habits supports making a specific plan for when and where you’ll act. A clear plan gives an intention a place to happen.

For any new habit, it’s worth asking: When will I do this? Where? What might get in the way, and how can I prepare?

5 I built in support and accountability

Working with a coach has been a significant part of this effort.  Indeed, I have often talked with clients about the benefits of creating a system of structure around a habit to enable its activation.

I have guidance, a plan, and someone who knows what I’m working toward. Our frequent check-ins help keep the commitment present, even when the rest of life gets busy.

The program also requires me to track my workouts. Recording what I’ve done makes my effort visible and gives me something concrete to look back on.

Support will look different for everyone. It might be a coach, a friend, a class, or a regular check-in with someone who shares your goal. For me, having that structure has made a demanding change feel more manageable.

5 I’m learning to value consistency without demanding perfection

One idea I keep returning to is that a smaller action can still count. I’ve blogged about this idea of mini-habits before.

When time or energy is limited, I’ve noticed it helps to have a manageable version of the habit available. That might mean a shorter session or an adjusted plan.

For exercise, this also means allowing for recovery and paying attention to what my body needs. The habit I want is one that supports my health over time.

The broader question is useful for any change: What would a realistic version of this habit look like on a difficult day?  For me, it’s doing half the workout instead of none at all.

I want a routine that can survive ordinary life, including the days that don’t go according to plan.

6 I’m giving it time and noticing what is changing

You may have heard that it takes 66 days to form a habit. That figure comes from a study in which the estimated time varied widely, from 18 to 254 days. As the lead researcher has since emphasized, habit formation has a highly variable timeline.

So I’m not treating day 66 as a finish line.

Instead, I’m paying attention to smaller signs: following through, learning unfamiliar exercises, and beginning to feel that this routine belongs in my day.

Those changes are worth noticing, even while I’m still working toward the larger results.

Still building

At 45 days, I’m still in the middle of this.

I have more to learn, and I expect there will be days when keeping the commitment is difficult. But I’m beginning to see how much the preparation, structure, and support matter.

In my coaching work, I encourage people to move from something they want to change toward something they can practice or even experiment with. This experience is reminding me how much happens between those two points.  

Above all, I’ve returned to the reason this matters to me because that is what drives me.  But also, we need room in our lives, support for the effort, and a way to keep going when circumstances change.  

I’m hoping that, over time, these repeated choices become a lasting part of how I care for myself.

What is one habit you’d like to build—and what would help you give it a real chance to take root?